Looking back at my life, every birthday that came was
accompanied by a colorful card wishing me a happy birthday and many more to come.
It was amusing and thrilling having a year more each and every year. This
mainly got influence from the fact that someone had succeed in convincing me
that growing up was such a glorious thing as i will be getting closer and closer
to the person i want to be in this life. This worked all the way through my
teen life until i reached 25 years and I began to see the other side of my life.
Now i turn 28 years and my heart is broken and angry for growing up because i
seem not be reaching to that person i want to be, I have since seized to be
looking forward to who i want to be as I now fear getting closer to my grave.
Do not get me wrong, i am glad that life has kept me this far but what is exasperating
is the unfair disappointments that life is coming with. The future looks distorted,
cold and all sorts of horrid things. If only it was possible, was going to ask for
a glimpse into my future that maybe my heart can be at ease. At some point i
stop to ask myself, when am i going to enjoy this life that i seem to spend
most of my time working on. I ask myself the following, when am i going to sit
and smile back at all that i have achieved, when is the sun going to come u
bringing me that special someone to share my thoughts with. After high school,
my life was all planned up; i will go to college, get a job, get married to a
loving husband and have 2 beautiful children, a boy and a girl. However as the
years increase, i seem to be drifting further away from the dream i was
supposed to be getting closer to. This confuses me, should i a go back and try
to find the turn i missed, did i take a right turn instead of a left turn, who
can answer all these questions. I know a lot will say ask God, the right time
will come, and i ask how do i communicate with God and if i took the wrong turn
was he (God) not watching when i was getting lost? However i celebrate my
birthday with contentment as i have decided to treasure moments, the moments
when happiness engulfs my heart, the moments i wish time would just freeze and
last forever.
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| at 28 |
As ever, the question is how to make lemonade from the lemons my friend
ReplyDeleteOne stubborn fact about life is you sweat to achieve something that others will have to enjoy.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you that you are at a stage where you feel like your dreams are gradually becoming unreachable. It is a stage that many people experience but very few have time to reflect on it like you are doing now. As David has stated above, you can still 'make lemonade out of the lemons'. Reality is always less perfect than the ideal. You had your ideals but reality is proving to be something else. Unfortunately you can reboot and take the other turn you could have taken. Keep going, reflect first before taking any major decision and don't hold onto the past or what could have been. At 28 you still have a long way ahead of you. Some people realise their dream beyond 40. You are not in competition with anyone. Stay focused and keep going.
ReplyDeleteYou cannot reboot
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