The hardest thing about letting go!

There is a time that comes for one to let go of some things in their life in order to move on and be happy. Often we fall into a comfort zone even if it means not being happy but just at ease being in a familiar place. How do i move one, how do i let go, how do i look forward with confidence when all i have known is going to remain behind. Teach me to move on, teach me to accept reality and confiscate the fear within me.

I feel i am sitting in a blurry place but with little hope of a light that is going to come, how can i be certain if i get up from where i am sitting outside there is sunshine, teach me to let go. I know and feel i could be happier but how do i let go! I can even feel the sunlight and feel a bit of fresh air coming from outside but how I let go, teach me to let go. At the end of it all i know only I, have the keys to liberate myself, i myself have the muscle to let go and look beyond the temporal wall that is startling me, i call upon all the strength in me to guide me as i seek glow in this nightfall!

When growing doesn't seem so much of a good idea

Looking back at my life, every birthday that came was accompanied by a colorful card wishing me a happy birthday and many more to come. It was amusing and thrilling having a year more each and every year. This mainly got influence from the fact that someone had succeed in convincing me that growing up was such a glorious thing as i will be getting closer and closer to the person i want to be in this life. This worked all the way through my teen life until i reached 25 years and I began to see the other side of my life. Now i turn 28 years and my heart is broken and angry for growing up because i seem not be reaching to that person i want to be, I have since seized to be looking forward to who i want to be as I now fear getting closer to my grave. Do not get me wrong, i am glad that life has kept me this far but what is exasperating is the unfair disappointments that life is coming with. The future looks distorted, cold and all sorts of horrid things. If only it was possible, was going to ask for a glimpse into my future that maybe my heart can be at ease. At some point i stop to ask myself, when am i going to enjoy this life that i seem to spend most of my time working on. I ask myself the following, when am i going to sit and smile back at all that i have achieved, when is the sun going to come u bringing me that special someone to share my thoughts with. After high school, my life was all planned up; i will go to college, get a job, get married to a loving husband and have 2 beautiful children, a boy and a girl. However as the years increase, i seem to be drifting further away from the dream i was supposed to be getting closer to. This confuses me, should i a go back and try to find the turn i missed, did i take a right turn instead of a left turn, who can answer all these questions. I know a lot will say ask God, the right time will come, and i ask how do i communicate with God and if i took the wrong turn was he (God) not watching when i was getting lost? However i celebrate my birthday with contentment as i have decided to treasure moments, the moments when happiness engulfs my heart, the moments i wish time would just freeze and last forever.

 

at 28